I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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