All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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