I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
