we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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