so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
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