How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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