babies were throwing up all over the place
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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