I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I just want to make out with him forever
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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