I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
