is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
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