this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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