so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
