I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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