youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Randomize
