Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
