You're completely useless in the revolution.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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