ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Who died my cat blue again?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize