We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
