Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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