he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize