we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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