I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
The power of my boobs compel you
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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