Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize