They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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