you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
