she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
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