After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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