quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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