her vagine was all disorganized.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
