he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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