He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
