He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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