You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
