i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
