I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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