dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize