you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
