Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
