He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
