i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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