Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Randomize