i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
