Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
