I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
