No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize