i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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