think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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