i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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