Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
