i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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