Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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