I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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