lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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