yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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