Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
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