Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
