is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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