Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
