We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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