Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
