I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
