your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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