eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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