using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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