But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
