dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
