He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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