Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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