A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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