I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
