hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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