She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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