Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
