so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
