Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
where are you?
Hypothermia
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
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