I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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