"it" just moved
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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